Parliament rejects imported Chinese furniture following Ebola vaccine debate
The Speaker of Parliament, the Right Honourable Doe Adjaho, has ordered the recently installed seats and other items of furniture imported from China to be returned.
This move, which has been described as ‘sudden and startling,’ came in the heat of discussions over the clinical trial of the Ebola vaccines in Hohoe in the Volta Region.
Parliamentary correspondents report that there was fear, panic, and alarm on the floor of parliament as the MPs unanimously condemned the Health Minister for the vaccine trials and declared in unison, ‘We bind this Ebola vaccine in the mighty name of Jesus!’
The public debate on the trials, which has been characterised by spectacular grandstanding and thick obfuscation, has generated several groups of vocal supporters and implacable opponents. The opposing factions are brave indeed. In a radio interview, one such group leader said fearlessly, ‘I know close to nothing about the technicalities involved in these trials. But I am not going to allow such a small detail as knowledge to infringe on my constitutionally guaranteed right to voice my opinion on this subject. I don’t fear huu!’
When asked to explain himself further, he said, ‘I don’t know anything about clinical trials. But I thank the Lord God Almighty that knowledge is not required in order to oppose anything.’
Another opposing faction claims that Ghana stands to lose her independence if the trials are made to continue. Known as the Cadre of Patriots (CoP), this group claims anything which originates outside the shores of Ghana is not good enough for Ghanaians. In an interview with the P and P newspaper, their leader wondered aloud whether ‘the vaccine understands Ghanaian culture? Can it speak Ga or Ewe or Frafra? How can we tell if this vaccine understands the Ghanaian anatomy? We need a made-in-Ghana vaccine.’
CoP has succeeded in getting the speaker of parliament to order the cessation of the trials, and while at it, to order the removal of anything unGhanaian, like the made-in-China furniture, from the august house. But the group still has bigger plans for the future. They also want the speaker to prevent the president from using iPads when he visits parliament.
‘After this, our next target is to ban the importation of all vehicles. By the end of the year, we’ll make sure that the only cars on the roads of the country are Safo Kantanka auto-mobiles,’ the convener of the Cadre of Patriots said in an interview. He also said the group will ensure that when high level business and political executives meet, they will drink Cargo Gin and Joy Daddy bitters instead of Johnny Walker and Scotch. ‘After we make parliament abolish all these,’ he said, ‘because parliament is also not Ghanaian, we’ll make it abolish itself as well. Then we can go home and rest.’
Meanwhile, it has come to light, as the controversy rages on, that medical personnel put in charge of running the vaccine trials are quietly and happily helping themselves to the resources supposed to be given to participants as compensation. One of them, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said that, ‘They do it in the presidency, they do it in the ministries, the GFA does it. So what is so wrong if we also skim off a little something into our own pockets? Aren’t we also Ghanaians? Don’t we also deserve the good things in life? The independence of Ghana is meaningless unless it is linked up with the total fattening up of our pockets too!’
Editor’s note: The ‘Inside the News by Mpakoo’ column which appears every Monday exclusively on ghanabusinessnews.com is satire.